My Life Thus Far
I don’t know if I am going to keep this because I don’t know if I am going to want people to read this. My new year’s resolution is to try to be normal because my life is definitely not normal right now and hasn’t been since I can remember. Lately I just want to write about what goes on and my attempts to move towards the world of white picket fences, 2.5 children, and golden retrievers. It’s funny because I am one of the most boring average people in the world in some ways. I have a loving family, I get good grades, I don’t stay up or out late, I watch way to much tv and a fun weekend for me is going to the dog park or the beach and hanging out with my family and boyfriend. I’m in college closer I get to 21, the less I want to drink alcohol or “party”. By the time I’m 22 I will probably be the most sober, boring person in the world. And in a weird twist of fate it’s all the things I can’t control that make my life absolutely ridiculous.
Ridiculous to the point where I saw myself identifying with South Park on a deep emotional level. For anyone that watches it is the 2 part episode where the main characters form a Peruvian flute band with one “normal” kid. The normal kid, Craig, basically gets fed up with the shenanigans and decides to walk home. The main characters are shocked that someone can just walk away from the craziness because to them “these things just happen.” I don’t want these crazy things to be normal any more.
I am saying good riddance to 2010. In this past year (and a bit of 2009) I have dropped 99.9% of my friends because I realized they just weren’t the kind of people I wanted in my life. I ended 2 long lasting, life ruining codependent relationships, not gracefully or intelligently but messily and stupidly. I started and stopped smoking pot and drinking myself into ridiculous, trashy blackouts. I started and stopped sleeping with everyone I met. I met the person I want to marry, but he seems to have my luck because we are still waiting to catch a break. Every “good” decision I make in life seems to shut me off more and more from the world around me and hasn’t really gone towards making my life less crazy. So here’s to a boring new year devoid of other peoples drug addictions, legal problems, and mental issues. Here’s to keeping my real friends close and my enemies as far away as they can possibly get.